Shoot 'Em Up (2007) Film Review

It’s a good year to be a Guy Movie fan. It all started last year, when SNAKES ON A PLANE and CRANK finally brought all of their internet hype to the big screen, and showed that Hollywood still has it in itself to get a little (or a lot) stupid for the sake of a fun thrill ride. This year alone has produced two standout Guy Movies: 300 and GRINDHOUSE; and now, SHOOT ‘EM UP has blasted its way onto the big screen, and into my heart like no other film before it.

Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino thought they had “The Most Outrageous Guy Movie of 2007 Award” sown up with their sleazy double-feature–but that was before Michael Davis stepped up to bat, and proceeded to hit a grand slam not just out of the park–try out of the city; out of the county; out of the state even!

When you hear SHOOT described as a nonstop action extravaganza from start to finish, they’re telling you the truth! There is no false advertising here. Check your brain cells at the door, and prepare yourself for an hour and twenty some-odd minutes of live action cartoon violence Chuck Jones would be proud of.

So what exactly makes SHOOT a great Guy Movie? I'm glad you asked, here's the skinny: Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti are terrific as the opposing forces creating this hurricane of violence. Clive is the embodiment of that stoic loner badass with rugged good looks all us average schmoes secretly wish we were at certain points in our loves. Paul has his acting amplifier cranked up to 11 as Hertz, a psychotic lunatic mercenary type who will stop at nothing to finish his mission, with as much humor and panache as is humanly possible that is. And then there's Monica Bellucci as the hot-as-balls Donna Quintano, a high class hooker whose specialty is filling a particular niche that, at first glance is downright absurd, but then again ... it is Monica Bellucci, so how bad could it be? The acting is great, the dialog is stilted and cartoonish in all the right ways, the action sequences are mind blowingly awesome and original, and if the hard rock soundtrack doesn't get your adrenaline pumping, check your pulse because you my friend, are a corpse.

"Let's play a game, first I'll shoot you in the face, and then you shoot me in the face, and the first one to hit the floor loses ... whaddya say?"

The film is funny, exciting, and worth every penny you can throw at it. I can't recommend this movie enough. Go see it, rent it, buy it, DVR it ... whatever it takes, check it out!

ABNB! Rating: 5 out of 5 (It's a BANG BANG of a good time! An instant classic.)
For More Info: IMDb / Rotten Tomatoes / Wikipedia / Official Site

Cloverfield (2008) Film Review

When I first saw the trailer for CLOVERFIELD right before TRANSFORMERS last summer, I didn’t know what to make of it. From what I could gather from the rather cryptic untitled preview was it was about a group of young people (about my age) who happened to be more successful than I, having more fun than I, and about to be thrust into a catastrophic situation unlike anything I had ever, or would ever see. One other thing I noticed: The entire trailer was filmed from the point of view of a personal video camera. Not a new idea, but boy, when that huge explosions hits New York, and I saw the big green dome of Miss Liberty crashing down into the streets of NYC, I couldn’t help but think, “Man, whatever this is, it’s gonna be so rad!”

Whelp, the time has come, and CLOVERFIELD has officially been named and unleashed upon the masses. So what do I have to say after having seen it? Man, whatever that was, it was so friggin rad!

Here’s a spoiler free rundown of the plot basics: Rob (Michael Stahl-David) is receiving a going away surprise party by his friends. During the party we meet his best friend Hud (T.J. Miller) the cameraman, Jason (Mike Vogel) Rob’s brother, Lily (Jessica Lucas) Jason’s girlfriend, and Marlena (Lizzy Caplan) the plain Jane girl mush-mouthed Hud has a crush on. The group is enjoying their seemingly innocuous party when a sudden rumble shakes the building. A rush to the roof reveals a mighty explosion in midtown Manhattan. Before we know it, the kids are on the street watching Miss Liberty’s head cascade through downtown New York to a worried and confused throng of citizens, all with cellphone cameras at the ready. It’s at this point in the film that every preconceived notion one might have about this film is flushed down the crapper. The twists and turns this film takes are shocking, frightening, and thrilling in every way. The first person perspective, while awkward at first, really helps suck the audience into the story with the cast, allowing us to feel the same rush of adrenaline and fear they do, when they do. At times I could feel myself wanting to move back and watch the action at a safe distance, but because of the style chosen for the film, that just isn’t possible.

The effects in the film are amazing. I found myself wondering how the hell they managed to pull a lot of this stuff off. Whether it be the exchanges between the creature in the film and the US military, the close-up shots of the creature itself, or even the simplest of camera movement, I cannot even begin to imagine the headache the filmmakers must have had trying to light, mark, and capture audio for some of the scenes.

Caution to those going into this film expecting a story that’s going to answer everything that’s presented. While yes, this is a creature feature, no, there is never an explanation given as to where or how this creature came to be in New York City. This is merely a fly-on-the-wall story, where we get to share a slice of these kids lives on their most horrific day imaginable.

While there isn’t any nakedness going on in the film, CLOVERFIELD definitely offers up enough bullet spitting, monster mashing, and quirky one-liners to qualify as a Guy Movie. Expect to identify heavily with Hud, as he manages to say exactly the wrong thing at all of the right times. If you ever wanted to know how you’d react in a situation like his, just watch and listen and you’ll get a pretty good idea.

CLOVERFIELD is highly recommended viewing for any Guy Movie lover. Just make sure anyone you take doesn’t get queasy easy, otherwise you might want to pack a couple vomit bags just in case.

ABNB! Rating: 5 out of 5 (Absolute Must See!)
For More Info: IMDb / Rotten Tomatoes / Wikipedia / Official Site